Shower thoughts time: Some days I feel like I'm from an alien species. I don't want power. I don't want to compete or win. I don't want attention, recognition, or praise. Any apparent understanding or enactment I have of these things is a clumsy simulation I've been forced into by others.
I want to learn, play, tinker, share, build, and repair in a mutually beneficial world. Maybe make a few connections with folks - but not too many. I want to hang out with animals. And I want everybody to be okay.
There's a scene in Darwin's Children by Greg Bear that I think about a lot, where a character says "It hurts to make others fail". She sounds like my people. Except, in the story, she's the result of a strange genetic mutation. So 🤷♂️
https://www.google.com/books/edition/_/2jeNBwgik7kC?hl=en&gbpv=1&bsq=it%20hurts%20to%20make%20others%20fail