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Boosted by jwz:
Lana@beige.party ("𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"") wrote:
How To Negotiate Like A President
TRUMP: Surprise! I have murdered your leader and also 160 schoolgirls.
IRAN: Cool cool cool hey go fuck yourself. The Strait of Hormuz is closed now.
TRUMP: You have one day to open the Strait of Hormuz or else.
IRAN: Go fuck yourself.
TRUMP: You have three days to open the Strait of Hormuz or else.
IRAN: Go fuck yourself.
TRUMP: You have two more days to open the Strait of Hormuz or else.
IRAN: Go fuck yourself.
TRUMP: You have one week to open the Strait of Hormuz or else.
IRAN: Go fuck yourself.
TRUMP: You have 24 hours to open the Strait of Hormuz or else.
IRAN: Go fuck yourself.
TRUMP: You have two weeks to open the Strait of Hormuz or else.
IRAN: Go fuck yourself. Also, here is a list of 10 demands where you give us everything we want and the Strait stays closed.
TRUMP: Deal!
TRUMP: I am the smartest and best negotiator that ever negotiatinged.