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I died choking on a carrot - final proof healthy living is a scam. I wake up in a glowing lobby that smells like eucalyptus and unresolved emotions.
In walks God, looking more like a tired barista than a thunder-wielding deity: hoodie, sandals, coffee mug that says "#1 Creator." They give me a kind smile. "Hey" they say, "Ready to reincarnate?"
I squint. "Back there? You seen Earth lately?"
God shrugs. "I check in sometimes." "Well" I say, "you really should’ve read the comments."
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