I think a lot of us white people could learn a lot from Dolly Parton: “If you see something’s wrong, just fix it.”
When you’re raised in whiteness, there’s a real temptation when presented with the fact that you made a mistake to get more incensed at the notion that someone might be accusing you of something than with the thing itself. “That thing you said was kinda racist.” “No it wasn’t! How dare you say I’m racist! I’m not racist! And even if you’re right, here’s 5 reasons why I didn’t mean it in a racist way and why what I said was actually fine.” All they needed to say was, “Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Dolly made a practice of learning and correcting herself over time. “Oh, you mean that thing offends the gay people? Well, then I wont say that anymore.” She didn’t need to fully understand why. She wasn’t gay and never pretended to understand the gay experience. She just needed to know that something was a problem and that was enough for her to make the change.
We should all be a little more Dolly.
And that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask why. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to understand. It just means that change doesn’t have to be predicated on full understanding and that, when in doubt, trust the people who have the lived experience.
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