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Boosted by isagalaev ("Ivan Sagalaev :flag_wbw:"):
Lana@beige.party ("๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐ถ "not yet begun to fight"") wrote:
2026: oh hey there 2024! What's new with you?
2024: not much, just finishing this scathing meme about Donald Trump
2026: (nodding) about all the murders?
2024: about the wait what's that now?
2026: you know, the murders. the ones he keeps ordering. ohhh right you don't know about that yet.
2024: Jesus Christ! is that how bad it's gotten?? he actually murdered someone??
2026: oh ha ha ha no, no
2024: thank go-
2026: he's actually done it lots of times now.
2024: what the FUCK
2026: yeah it's pretty commonplace actually. first he started by murdering a mom named Renee, then a doctor named Alex.
2024: so... two people? He actually caused the death of two American citizens?
2026: oh GOD no.
2024: whew I thought surely I was mishearing -
2026: it's up to like, oh, twenty or thirty murders now. more or less a daily occurrence. could be way more.
2024: Jesus FUCK
2026: kind of tough to keep track actually. it just keeps happening! plus he banned the free press so it's difficult to get accurate numbers anymore.
2024: PLEASE tell me you're doing something about this!!
2026: oh yeah! no, for sure! we're doing stuff.
2024: oh thank God. how many have you kill-
2026: yeah for instance we made up this neat name for them - "iceholes".
2024: excuse me??
2026: yeah we call them "iceholes" now. you know, when they murder another person. "ICEHOLE!" we scream at them when they do it.
2024: ...and that works?
2026: oh goodness me, no. in fact they seem to like it.
2024: so you made up a cute nickname for the murderers who are murdering you?? that doesn't seem like an appropriate escalation of consequences.
2026: also we made it very naughty to wear masks when they do it. when they try to do a murder on one of us. they're not supposed to wear ski masks when they do that.
2024: oh so at least you can identify them and bring the murderer to justice.
2026: ha ha no, they just ignore that part and wear ski masks anyway.
2024: isn't that like, highly illegal?
2026: very much so.
2024: hey remind me how the fuck we got here as a nation again??
2026: ah, well you see, back in 2024, a lot of us were worried that voting for Harris would embroil us on the wrong side of a genocide in the middle east.
2024: oh... right. I remember that.
2026: so instead we're embroiled on the wrong side of TWO genocides in the middle east.
2024: plus the daily murders thing.
2026: (nodding) plus the daily murders thing.
2024: (sigh) ...
2026: ...
2024: want to see this meme I just made? it's about how Trump is orange and dumb.
2026: ha ha yes he is.