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relatedly my personal emotional orientation towards the AI chatbots themselves has been evolving a little bit. I needed to do small bits of experimentation, mostly to inform my skepticism. doing that in the past largely had the valence of constant frustration and anger. now I feel more… mournful. LLMs are doing something really fascinating, and it would be so great if we could actually study it to discover what it *is*, instead of pretending that whatever that thing is is "thinking" or "work"