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by "good" I do not mean the most watts or the coolest looking design or the most featureful OLED display. I want a battery pack that will:
1. not catch fire
2. seriously not catch fire, listing it twice because that's the most important point
3. just going to say this once, but it's just as important: not cause >$3000 worth of damage and irreplacable data loss
4. charge a device
5. nice-to-haves but negotiable: QI2, enough power to charge a laptop a little bit