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Boosted by brib@bribstodon.xyz ("brib :neofox_floof: :Nonbinary:"):
iro_miya@mk.absturztau.be ("Miya Ironami 🌸") wrote:
YOU SHOULD NEVER TALK TO FAIRIES WITHOUT A LAWYER
We at Magic Counsel Associates, represent thousands of clients in court cases revolving around wish law. But today I would like to address those who haven't been involved in wish litigation. I would like to talk about why, should a fairy grant you a wish, you need a firm like us and why you should never talk to fairies alone.
Being granted a wish from a fairy might seem like a dream come true, but often, it turns out to be more of a nightmare.
Remember that most of the time, fairies do NOT have your interests at heart. Fairies are known to:
- interpreting vague wishes ("I wish everyone to be happy") in the most horrifying ways
- not fulfilling aspects of the wish which seem obvious although they were unstated (like time travel that doesn't account for the earth moving through the cosmos)
- not caring about consequences for the wish grantee (like granting infinite money without warning the grantee about the attention they will attract from the authorities)
Fairies have also been noted to disregard the European 30-day withdrawal period. Sometimes, they get away with it by surrounding the scene in a surreal impenetrable mist. The mist actually means you've been teleported to Honduras for legal purposes.
BE PREPARED for when a fairy approaches you to grant you a wish. Tell them that you will refuse to talk to them without a lawyer, and ask to call us. Specify that THIS DOES NOT COUNT AS A WISH.
We will represent you and negotiate a wish which takes into account everything that could possibly go wrong. Everything will be made into a clear contract which covers all your grounds.